When I was a child, I remember being in Japan, spending the night at my grandmother’s house. My Japanese grandmother was the epitome of zen living. We slept on traditional Japanese mattresses (the type that you would put out every night, and fold up and neatly put away into the closet every morning). So during the day, the bedroom was nearly empty and there was plenty of room to play.

Imagine my bedroom during the day: a wood-woven traditional tatami mat floor, beautiful textured grayish-beige walls with a hint of glitter to them, some traditional dolls displayed on one side of the room that had a platform built onto the floor along the wall, a television in one corner, and a vanity stand with a mirror in the other corner.

The room had only the necessities, but was somehow decorated so nicely and was so comfortable. I would lay on the floor (tatami floors are incredibly comfortable) and watch tv, or run around the room and play and never have to worry about running into anything or tripping on anything. It was pretty awesome.

If I was going to play with my toys, I was gently instructed to pick them up and put them away when I was done. There was a closet at the end of the room with sliding white paper doors that hid all of my toys. The room was pure Japanese zen and I remember it fondly.

Fast forward to my teenage years. My room was pretty much always messy. I kept it relatively organized, but is it a normal thing for a teenager to have clothes strewn about the floor? Because I certainly did. My dad has always been clean, neat, and organized, so the rule was that I would not mess up any of the house except for my room- I could do whatever I wanted with it.

Now onto my college years, where I lived alone in a tiny studio apartment. I kept it clean, but my best friend at the time loved to shop (and she still does). That bug was contagious, and since we couldn’t afford much as college students, we’d go shopping to stores like Ross and Marshalls. We’d buy stuff on clearance- mostly home decor because we both had our own apartments. But the problem was that I had accumulated a lot for my little studio. I liked the things that I had bought, but didn’t love most of it. Things never ended up on the floor, but I had started to over-accumulate things that I didn’t need. I didn’t realize the effect of clutter at the time (anything that you don’t really love, need, or use), so I didn’t know why, but this apartment that I had once loved so much had begun to feel stuffy, and I eventually moved.

Fast forward to my early-twenties, and I was working hard and assertively moving up in the corporate environment. I had a spacious new apartment, so I started studying interior decorating to learn how to make it look great- the type of place that I wanted to come home to. That’s when I stumbled onto the concept of Feng Shui and eliminating clutter.

With so many hours spent working, I didn’t have much time to shop, and started buying less things, but of better quality- stuff that I really liked. I still had my decor from college (I’d moved it from place to place between several moves), and I donated most of those items, as well as bags and bags of clothes that I no longer wore, and sold other things that were salable on Craigslist and eBay.

Within a couple of years of living there, I was surfing everyday, and decided to move to the beach. The places were much smaller and older, but I liked the vibe there. I picked the neighborhood that I wanted to live in and eventually found a unit that was in my price range.

The new apartment was about 1/3 of the size of my current unit. I ended up donating and selling more what I could part with, and it was the first time that I had a hard time with decluttering. Even though I didn’t need or necessarily love the stuff, it was hard to part with because of the memories associated with it, or the fact that maybe these things could be useful one day. After agonizing indecision, I sold and donated quite a bit of stuff, and carried the rest with me.

I had downsized so considerably, but my new apartment felt like it was too full of stuff. I read every book available about decluttering and Feng Shui to motivate me. I got really into it- my friends made fun of me for constantly decluttering. I grew up knowing quite a bit about a similar concept from my grandmother, but had never completely utilized it in my own living spaces.

Over the course of one year, I got rid of a lot of stuff. I sold my comfortable couch because it was too big for the living room and bought a new one I loved even more, was high quality, and fit the room better. I started realizing that memories don’t just reside in things, but in our minds, so there’s no need to keep multiple items from different time periods. I started realizing the importance of home and being comfortable in it. I did everything that I could to declutter and incorporate feng shui principles, mainly to see if the result was worth it.

I re-painted my living room a beautiful shade of light grey, with a charcoal accent wall. I got rid of every piece of clutter in the room, and filled it only with my couch and coffee table with two floor lamps on each side, a basket to hold my books, my tv and tv stand, and placed two beautiful lanterns from Pottery Barn near the entryway.

Then I let go of all items that I didn’t use, love, or need in my bedroom, leaving only my bed, two nightstands, my desk and chair, and some accessories. I carefully placed all the colors and elements in both rooms according to Feng Shui. I created my perfect living situation, a sanctuary that I had designed myself. And I loved the result!

I didn’t have much, but I didn’t miss anything that I had gotten rid of. Everything that was in my apartment felt like quality and it felt good being at home. I ended up spending more time at home in comfort and peace, and saved money because I wasn’t going out as much. I saved by cooking dinner at home and inviting friends over for bbq’s. I prioritized spending time with my dog or surfing. For the first time in my adult life, I was incredibly comfortable and happy with my apartment.

I don’t know if it was coincidental, or attributed to my Feng Shui changes, but life was really good. New opportunities flowed in, sales were great at work, and even with long work hours, I felt like I had a lot of time to enjoy myself.

Then, I got the idea to go on an around-the-world trip. And that’s when the biggest challenge began. I didn’t just have to get rid of everything that I didn’t really love or use, but nearly everything I had accumulated over my lifetime. I gave myself the goal of keeping only three medium-sized boxes of my possessions. I allocated myself three boxes because storage was expensive and I could use that money toward my travels, and I could also use the profits from selling that additional stuff to help pay for the trip.

It doesn’t sound that hard on paper, but imagine getting rid of nearly everything that you own. Everything that you worked hard to accumulate, and a lot of the clothes that fit well and the things that you prize. It was difficult. I started two years before I left for the trip, and while working full time and long hours in medical device sales, I would come home and start listing things on eBay and Craigslist. I even had a small shipping station at my desk. Toward the end, I began giving things away to family and friends and donating. But it never got easier, it got harder as I got down to the things that I absolutely loved.

And I did it. I made a lot of money by selling nearly everything that I owned. It took a lot of time and effort, but it helped pay for half of my trip. And I sold my stuff to a lot of good people, made new friends.

Did I miss anything? I was curious to see if I would. Out of the hundreds of things that I sold, I only missed one thing one time- it sounds silly, but it was a red clutch that would’ve gone perfectly with a dress that I kept. That’s pretty good- one thing out of hundreds of things. It goes to show how much we can accumulate in excess without realizing it. It was a big eye-opener for me.

I ended up traveling and living overseas for four years with belongings that could fit into one large bag. But I always had everything I needed- plenty of cute outfits, clean clothes, nice accessories, and toiletries to keep me feeling well taken care of. I took better care of my things because I had less and always felt like I had more than enough. What a difference from my college years!

And now I’m back in Los Angeles. It was honestly so fun to go through my boxes of stuff when I came back, and what a small feat, but it felt good to have those things again. It’s a luxury to have things that are yours and that bring back memories. I’m not sure if I appreciated those things enough while I was amply surrounded by my own stuff- maybe I did, I’m not sure. But it took four years of being away to so keenly tune into the feeling of comfort that those things brought me, and I realized the importance of having stuff that you own and love.

From now on, every place that I live will incorporate decluttering and feng shui principles, and I’ll only keep and buy what I really love. I’m hoping that combined with hard work and ambition in other aspects of life, that I can be as happy as those days at my beach house again.

 

 

I have five points to this whole post (other than to inform you about my journey of decluttering):

1. Don’t be afraid to get rid of things that you don’t need or love, because you probably won’t miss it. Especially if it’s easily replaceable. I was really curious about this, and ended up being my own experiment.
2. We need very little to be happy, presentable, and comfortable.
3. It’s going to take hard work to declutter the things you don’t need out of your life. It’s a process, but the results are well worth it.
4. Utilizing the techniques of decluttering and Feng Shui in your environment really do change your life. Even with the adventures of my around-the-world trip, those years in my beach house where I had a sanctuary to return to were hands down the best years of my life.
5. Stuff isn’t bad. Having stuff that you love is actually important. It kind of adds to your identity, and it’s human nature to want to feel a sense of ownership. The key is deciding what it is that you like vs. love and what you want vs. need to keep the clutter out of your life.